the rudys

So I realize that my blog is not as exciting to read as it may once have been. Not that exciting is the right word. But before it was so easy for me to write because I didn't have to talk about myself ever. More about what was going on. The other day I was talking to a friend and we decided that we just don't like to share a whole lot about our personal lives. Of course it's easy to share little stories here and there or recent events of the family. But one of my favorite blogs is the one I read that tells all about every feeling and every thought the girl is feeling. So I know what will make my blog one of those that everyone wants to read, I just don't know if I am the person who wants that. Or maybe just not the person who can do that. Sometimes I think about posting a thought I have here or there - but then I immediatly think not to for fear that I will be that blog that people read to have their "Debbie Downer" moments. Or that people will feel like they have to leave me uplifting, happy, "you are so strong" comments. And I don't want people to feel like that - nor do I want to make people depressed while reading my blog.

But I was persuaded tonight by a friend who vowed to be a little more personal in her blogs - if she can do it why can't I? I will warn you though, don't get your expectations too high here - big things like this can't really happen overnight I suppose. So for my first big "feelings" blog I am going to get a little creative - me being my random self and all. Every day or so I hear a song and think, "Oh, this is so what I am thinking." So I decided to make a little songlist. My thoughts in a mix CD. I realize that this might not help everyone since some songs may be ones you haven't heard of - and some songs might just have a few songs I relate to - but hey, no complaining - it's better than nothing!

dreaming with a broken heart - john mayer

everybody knows - dixie chicks

i still miss you - keith anderson

so hard - dixie chicks

everybody - keith urban

doesn't remind me - audioslave

just a dream - carrie underwood

wish you were here - incubus

Ok. I think that's all i can think of for now. And although these songs all appear to be more on the thoughtful and i might say somewhat depressing side - I don't generally feel this way. I think that whatever it is I feel it cannot really be described (maybe that's why I tried using songs instead) and yet I don't wish anyone to fell sorry for me or like I'm moping. I really feel normal - whatever that means right? But that's how I feel. Obviously I seem that a comparable situation is that a tornado has come through my life and spun everything around. But what do you do with that. You can't just sit around and stare at the broken mess around you. At some point you have to get up and start cleaning.

Well, well - for one not into sharing feelings so much I sure have a lot to blab about. So until my next Mix CD - I leave you with one of my new favorite quotes...