In lieu of a "normal" post, I figure I'd share something that I enjoy. I did attempt to add the video straight to my blog, but as you can see I was unsuccessful. So you will have to click on the links below, not as cool but I guess the end result is the same.

this one is cute.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFgXEkzMq7A

this one is fun to watch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vwZ5FQEUFg

have fun.

Well, not as exciting maybe, but just as eventful to us - today was Erik's birthday. I tried to take the kiddos to Erik's favorite restaurant. But since Erik always got bored with things, there's no real restaurant that stood out as THE ONE. So it ended up being a toss up between Wallaby's (brisket, pulled pork & mashed potatoes) or Taco Bell. Taco Bell is definatly a long-running favorite of Erik's, but Wallaby's tastes just a little better. So I let the boys decide. Milo said he didn't want food, Mason said he loves Wallaby's. Easy decision with no fighting - excellent. So we ate lunch there then I took them to pick out a balloon to take to the cemetary. The boys get kinda bored just looking at grass and giant rocks with writing on them, so I figured taking a balloon would add a little excitement to the trip. Mason picked out a Happy Birthday balloon with Lightening McQueen and Mater; Milo's had Elmo on it. And even though Erik was never the guy who liked flowers as gifts, I took him some anyway. Mason, the big kid, tied his and Milo's balloons - then they both proceeded to try to jump over the strings while the balloons blew around. Typical monkeys.

Later in evening I attended a BBQ that some of my old co-workers did as a fundraiser for our family. It was a great turnout and a lot of fun - they had food and live music. It is still amazing to me at all the people involved, that want to help out, that I don't even know. There are just so many nice people in the world, and I feel so fortunate to know so many of them. So thank you to everyone who planned and helped out tonight - and everyone who showed up to hang out!

Happy Birthday Mason!

Today Mason officially turned the big SIX. Here are some things that happened today to remind me that he is getting older and more, I guess you could say mature.

This morning I missed a call on my cell phone from my mom. She wanted me to call her back she she could wish Mason a happy birthday. I just handed the phone to Mason and told him to call her. No problem. It's not that he hasn't been doing this for a long time, its just that it still makes me laugh at how easy he maneuvers the cell phone (and all other electronic devices).

After lunch we planned to see the movie Kung Fu Panda with some family. We got to the theater and the most excited words out of Mason's mouth were, "Hey, Indiana Jones! I want to watch that movie." The cartoon about cute animals that fight the bad guy just wasn't as exciting to him as I thought it would be. (Milo however did like the movie.)

For his birthday we went to dinner (Mason's choice of course) with just us. As the boys were waiting for me to make some phone calls before we left they started drawing some pictures. When Mason finished he handed me a folded paper and asked me to take it to the restaurant and give it to him after dinner. There was a beautiful picture with a blue sky, sun and car driving along. Inside the card said something like, "To Mason - I love you - love mom" (all spelled correctly this time). So basically Mason made me a card to give to him for his birthday. What a funny kid.

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY MASON! You are officially old enough to start first grade, strong enough to pour your own milk & mature enough to take care of your mom. -- Now if only we could get you to stop shooting your straw wrappers at everyone :)

My old work set up a fundraiser BBQ Saturday. The details can be found in this youtube video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZQh1FEdNds

It'd be great to see you there. Thanks MACU pals!

I feel like for once within the last 10 days I can finally relax. As most of you know today we celebrated and remembered Erik (and his crazy, accident prone life). Getting to today has been so crazy and busy with all the planning, choices to make, phone calls to answer that I feel like it's kept my thoughts other places. I know it's all happening, but it just seems so weird that it almost seems hard for me to comprehend. It might be a mix of being busy and tired, but I feel a little spaced. It's probably what's helping me. I definatly don't think I'm holding together so well all on my own. First of all I have a wonderful family around me. They have all been here to help keep me company, take care of the boys, clean my house, or any other random errand I've needed done this past week. Second I have great friends. All the sincere offers for help and the thoughtful words of encouragement and love really help me out. And last, but of course not least, would be all of the prayers and blessings that have been sent my way. I am so thankful that there are so many people out there that are praying for our little family. Even though it is not a tangible thing, I feel like right now it provides us with the greatest help I can ever ask for. The only way I can think to explain how I've done everything is to say its just not all me. So keep them coming if you don't mind - especially for the boys. They still seem to be handling this all so well, but of course being their mother I worry about them every day. They are wonderful, they are entertaining, and most of all they are so loving to me. I tell them I'll take good care of them, but I know that they are going to be what keeps me going too. Nothing like a hug from little arms to make you happy!

We love you Erik!

Erik Mason Rudy, after a strong battle with leukemia, passed away peacefully at his home in American Fork on June 10, 2008. Erik was born on June 21, 1979 in North Richland Hills, Texas to his parents Frank & Missie Rudy. He lived in Keller Texas until high school graduation. From there he moved to Idaho to attend Ricks College. After serving an LDS Mission to Juan Pessoa, Brazil he moved to Provo, Utah where he met the love of his life, Emily Toy. They were married on January 19, 2002 and sealed together for eternity on February 22, 2003 in the Bountiful Temple. He graduated from Brigham Young University in 2004 with a degree from the Communication department - with an emphasis in business management. Soon after graduation he formed his own auto sales business. In his business he always looked more to providing people with what they wanted instead of just selling them a car. His regards to others feelings was one of his greatest traits. He was always genuinely interested in not only a person’s life, but their loves, hopes and dreams. In his own life his greatest love was his wife and children, Mason Dax & Milo Parks. He was a very thoughtful husband and father. The well being of his family was always his first priority. He is survived by his wife and two sons, his father and mother, sister Heather Erickson, his grandmother Carol “Oma” Mason, and many wonderful family and friends. He loved and often reminisced about all his nurses, PA’s and doctors at both Utah Valley and LDS Hospitals. We thank you for all you did; you gave us added time and incredible memories with him. Friends may call Friday evening at the American Fork West Stake Center, 500 North 700 West, American Fork, Utah from 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. Funeral services will be held Saturday, June 14, 2008 at 11:00 a.m. at the same location. An additional viewing will be held one hour prior to services. Interment will be in the American Fork City Cemetery. Condolences may be sent to the family at http://www.serenicare.com/. Donations can be made at Mountain America Credit Union to the Rudy Family Donation Account to benefit his wife and children.

I know that there are a lot of friends and family who live out of Utah, so I just wanted to give everyone a heads up on the funeral plans.

There will be a viewing Friday night from 6-8. And additional viewing will be held at 10 am, with the services starting at 11:00 Saturday.

And some people have asked where to send condolences. They can be sent to http://www.serenicare.com/. If you would like to know, our flowers are being done through Angela Hall. Her number is 801.404.2886.

Well...
Today, or I guess technically last night, I said goodbye to my very best friend. There is not much I can think to say. Or maybe it's that I have so many thoughts I can't pick one. I loved him so much. But you all probably already knew that, because I know he was loved by more than just me. I will miss him but I will never forget him. I have already begun to read all the letters people have written about Erik. Yesterday I thought of things I never want to forget about him. Here's just a few - maybe you'll be able to nod in agreement to some.

• His "to do" lists
• His special homemade vanilla "milkshakes" - these involved stirring vanilla ice cream into a cup of milk
• His complaints about his balding head, big nose or what he thought was an overweight physique
• There wasn't a number he couldn't remember.
• He was always extra organized and over prepared for things - he always wanted everything to be perfect.
• He had such a knack for people - he always made sure the other person talked more than him in a conversation, always asking questions and learning more about them.
• "Go big or go home"
• His knowledge of cars - not only could he tell you in one look the year of a particular car, he could also tell you what options were offered for the models, about how much they were worth, what kind of quality they should be in...his mind was basically NADA. He could also spot any car he had previously sold. We'd be driving somewhere and he'd say, "Hey there's the truck I sold to that guy last year" I'd say, "Are you sure, how can you tell?" "I know he lives in Orem and I remember the wheels it had on it and that it had that after market bumper" (or any other physical feature).
• He loved education - he always wanted to get his masters and doctorate someday

I could go on and on. Everyone might have other things, but those are some of the ones that first came to my mind. Bottom line is - he was wonderful. I guess that's why he didn't need all the extra time like most of us do down here. I know I already said this but, I'm really going to miss him.

And for the "Erik news"; A nurse came by today to draw some blood for the doctors to see. His WBC was at 80,000 and his leukemic blast was at 50%. They called to tell me the news from the hospital today. They added that they didn't think his medicine was really working to slow it down. I pretty much already figured that. They will do another lab on Thursday if we want. Until then we will just be hanging out and spending time together.

And for the good news: I love everyone. I know that may sound weird - but I just don't know how else to encompass everyone I can think of. Everyone around us is just so great. Just for starters I would say the fact that I've seen so many other peoples blogs that have stuff about us on them. I can't believe how many people care so much. It really amazes me. Then that combined with all the nice things people do for us. I could keep going on and on about all the things I witness that really just make me love everyone. But instead I'll talk about the most recent example.

Tonight some of our neighbors (neighbors I REALLY love of course) arranged for a picnic for our ward and anyone else we wanted to come and hang out. Erik has been so tired, but for this he got out of bed and sat up in a wheelchair so that he could make a brief appearance. Everyone sang his favorite song (well I'm pretty sure I guessed right) - Armies of Helaman - then they released balloons to heaven, some tied with thoughts for Erik. It was so thoughtful and so wonderful. I know Erik was really tired and pretty out of it, but I know that's something that he really appreciated. It was so great.

Thanks so much Everyone.

the most exciting news today is that i learned how to let anyone comment on our blog. Sorry about before, I didn't even realize that I was allowing only those select few who already blog to comment. It has now been opened up to the masses - comment away.

Ok, that aside. Since today was Sunday we didn't really see anyone medical related. One of the PA's from LDS Hospital called to say that they might be sending orders for the home nurse to draw Erik's blood tomorrow. Other than that, Erik is just still feeling really tired and worn out. We have had many loved ones come visit and spend time with our family today, but through it all he mostly just sleeps. He comes in and out while people visit - talking for a little bit, but drifting off every few minutes or so. I think this is partly attributed to all the medicine he is taking, but also because his body is just working so hard from everything going on inside itself. I remember last year before we knew what was going on that he often tired very easily. I can tell that this is the same, only it seems to be happening much more rapidly this time. Just from Thursday to today I have seen significant changes in his energy and strength. I wish I had some good news to add, but unfortunately I don't. We are just glad that he is home. He can rest as much as he wants and visit with the boys - that's what we really want for him now anyway.

book for Erik

Erik's sister Heather would like to compile a book for him. We are inviting anyone who would like to contribute to do so. If you want to share a memory, story or any thoughts you may have about Erik please send them to Heather at heather.erickson@connect2.com. We would like to get this book together for Erik within the next few days. If you would like to pass this info on to anyone else you think may be interested in participating please feel free - we would like to give everyone the opportunity to share.

Thanks.

well, more to just keep me in the habit than anything else - here is an update.

Today Erik did not go to the hospital for blood work. He was feeling very tired and then we had a few visitors followed by a visit from a nurse to start his hospice care. The nurse told us from now on she could do any blood work the doctors ordered - but that it wasn't necessary if we didn't want to have it done. The one thing she did tell us was that from the basic vitals she took Erik's body is stressed and it is working hard even while he is laying down. I guess we don't know really what to make of that information, except to just make sure he really takes it easy.

It was nice to meet with the nurse today. She made us feel very comfortable and let us know repeatedly that she is available any time of the day or night for anything that Erik needs. They work directly with the hospital near us for medications, so if he ever needs anything - whether it be a refill or something in the middle of the night - we can call them and they will fill the prescription, pick it up and bring it to our house. And I know there are always doctors on call - but she made sure we knew that being on call is part of their job and that calls in the middle of the night are very normal for them. It is very comforting to us to know that they will be here for Erik anytime he needs.

i've been better

Well here goes. I've been thinking I need to do a blog to inform everyone - but it's just so hard to figure out what exactly I should say. So I guess I'll just type and it should come out good enough.

I will go back to the middle of May. Erik went in for his 1 year post transplant biopsy. He was feeling good - we had just gotten back from our NY trip - it was a great milestone to us. The full results took a couple weeks to get back, in the meantime Erik's transplant coordinator emailed to tell us she was sorry but she wouldn't be able to attend his 1 year meeting, but not to worry because all the test results looks good. So I didn't even go with him to the meeting - kids had school and stuff so I stayed home to take care of them. Erik came home from the doctor appointment to tell me that things weren't as good as we had thought. Turns out all the tests his coordinator had seen were good, but there were ones that only just came back the day Erik went to his appointment. Those ones showed things were not so good. Erik's doctor explained that what they saw was one in every 20 cells were male - since Erik's donor was his sister all his cells should read female in lab tests. The fact that 5% were male meant that his bone marrow was once again producing cells on their own - not the donor. But the good news was that 5% is not considered relapse. The best course of action would be to take him off his immunosuppressant medication as a much faster rate than normal. They would do this in hopes that his donor cells would come on stronger and fight any of the other ones - it is referred to as a graft vs. leukemia effect. So each week he was to take less of the medication and by July when he was completely off they would do another biopsy to see if the effect was taking place or not. They told us that many people can keep a delicate balance of this effect and live with low percentage of leukemia in their bodies for years. So we thought, I guess we will just wait until July to see how things are going - but we will be prepared in case the next biopsy isn't very good.

To me now July seems so far away.

Since that doctor visit Erik has been seeing them weekly again. On Tuesday we went together and Erik went in with a few symptoms to tell them about. Since a few days before he had been having neck pain that would not go away. He was also dealing with a mild fever. They did his normal blood draws and tests - doing a few extra to check for any virus or sickness, plus a chest x-ray just too make sure he wasn't sick. Everything came back negative for that. The only thing that we noticed different was that his white blood count was high - something they said could be attributed to the fact that he wasn't feeling well. They sent us home with some pain medication for his neck and told us to call them the next day to report any changes in his fever.

We are now at Wednesday. The first thing that happened was the PA we visited with forgot to sign Erik's pain medication prescription. Milo also came down with a fever. So we called the hospital to tell them Erik's fever hadn't changed and they said they were sorry about the prescription but that it was good Milo had a fever because then Erik may just have the same thing. Maybe it was a hidden blessing that the prescription was never signed. Wednesday night Erik was having a very rough time sleeping. His neck was hurting so bad he could barely move - making uncomfortable to even lay down. He was also still dealing with a fever. So at about 4:30 in the morning he called up to the hospital. After talking with a PA he decided to go up when they opened at 8 in the morning.

Thursday when they tested his blood everything changed. Leukemia can be detected early in a bone marrow biopsy. If it has grown stronger it can be detected from a simple blood draw. Another indication is a high white blood cell (WBC) count. A normal person has a count of 3,000-5,000 or 3-5. Erik's count on Tuesday was 12.5 (12,500). Since he was having a fever though they told us to wait until our next weeks appointment and see if it would go down. Thursday his counts were at 21 and they found 25% leukemic blasts just from drawing his blood. Today we went for another test so they could see how fast things were going - his counts were at 30. (Last year when Erik was first admitted his WBC was at 85.) Tomorrow we will go for another blood test, the doctors say that three days in a row will give them a very good idea of what is happening.

So after all that here it is - Erik is now in full relapse. Our first news was that if he did nothing at all he could have days to weeks left. There is no curative action that can be taken at this point. We were given the option to have Erik re-admitted to the hospital for another round of chemo, this time infusing something called T-cells (taken from the donor) right after the chemo in hopes that it could fight the leukemia. We have gone through the chemo process three times already. This time it would be much harder just because of the fact Erik's body has already been through so much and because now that he has had a transplant he is at risk for many more complications. This round would not be curative at all - in fact at the most we were told that it had only worked to prolong life a few more months for only a couple of patients. Because of this, and after much prayer and thought we have decided to opt for the other direction.

Erik has been prescribed a few new medications in addition to the ones he has always been taking. One of them has the potential to slow the leukemic growth in hopes that it can prolong his life. He will be able to continue to live at home and we are in the process of finding hospice care to help facilitate with any medical needs he might have.

These are strange thoughts to have continually on our minds - but yet here they are.

We have had many visitors in the past two days and it's hard to answer the question "how are you doing?" I think the best response is one I heard Erik say on the phone yesterday, "I've been better." We are dealing and we are coping and I think we are even trying to still let it all sink in. We know from last year that we have an amazing group of family and friends - we love you all. Your prayers and thoughts for us always make our burdens lighter. Thank you.

I will try to continue to keep this blog up to date to keep everyone in touch.